


Won't you stay alive? (i'll take you on a ride)

by NightSkyBear



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Depression, F/M, Josh is Sad, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 13:24:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9550955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightSkyBear/pseuds/NightSkyBear
Summary: Tyler loves Jenna. Not Josh. Josh will never be good enough.





	1. Josh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did this on an impulse. i'm sorry.

Josh was depressed, he hid it well though because apparently no one knew that he was. Not his Mom or Dad, nor his siblings, not even his best friend. the same best friend for years, hadn't noticed the changes in Josh's behavior. his smile never reached his eyes, they didn't crinkle like they normally would. his speech had shortened, he didn't talk very much anymore. he would constantly be in his bed or somewhere in his average sized apartment. See Josh wasn't always like this, No. It happened when he felt a slight attraction towards Tyler, He remembers it like it was last Tuesday. They were sitting in a taco bell and Josh had nothing to do, he forgot his phone at home. he decided since he had nothing to do, he'd look at his best friend. Tyler had his phone in his hand under the table, smiling at something, probably something his girlfriend texting him again. Tyler hadn't been giving Josh much of his attention, only to Jenna. he likes Jenna, don't get him wrong but he just can't help to feel a slight jealousy towards her. The only time Tyler would pay any attention to Josh is when it's time to work but even then he still wasn't as focused as he should be. They were on tour, Tyler would sometimes play a game or two with Josh. Or they'd talk for about 30 minutes until Tyler got a phone call or a message, so Josh gave up entirely. Tyler would constantly tell Josh how great Jenna was and how smart and pretty she was. everything that Josh wasn't. They fell into a pattern, Tyler constantly tells Josh about Jenna, Josh pretends to be happy for him, Josh cries in the shower, to sleep and every time he was alone he'd do it. it wasn't until Tyler announced that He and Jenna were getting married that Josh finally broke. he couldn't take it anymore, he was done for. everyone clapped and cheered and congratulated Tyler. he was so busy being praised that he didn't notice Josh's heartbroken face, his tears running down his face like waterfalls. Josh couldn't take it anymore. he loved Tyler. He was supposed to be in Jenna's place. Josh ran as fast as he could, he didn't know where he was going but he just kept running as far as his legs could carry him. He finally stopped in front of his apartment building. he went inside and went up into his unit. he couldn't go on like this. Tyler, the guy he loves, marrying a girl...that he loves... Josh realized he'd never be as good as Jenna, She was smart and pretty and she had the warmest smile. everything that Josh didn't have. he went to his bedroom and looked at his phone.

Not a single notification.

 

No one had even realized he was gone.

 

No one cared.

 

Josh went into his bathroom and got out a box of old razor blades he swore to never use them again. he promised himself and he promised Tyler. but Tyler wasn't there anymore, he didn't need Josh anymore he had Jenna. Tyler has a good life, he has a house, a beautiful fiance, a successful band. Tyler has everything. Josh had only one of those things, a successful band but only thanks to Tyler, he has an amazing voice and a meaningful message, He is the definition of talent while Josh over here is just a drummer. that's it and that's all he'll ever be. Josh opens the box of blades and he just admires them for a moment, he picks up the newest one, they tend to cut straight through with ease. He fiddles with the blade for another moment until he slowly drags it across his skin, blood running down his arm and onto the floor. 'that'd be messy to clean up, i'm already a burden' Josh thinks as he strides over to the bathtub undresses and he gets in, he thinks about Tyler living happily ever after when he's gone.  _slit_. he thinks about how pretty Jenna is and how he'll never be her.  _slit._ Josh continues to think about how happy everyone would be if he just died. he continued to cut any part of his body that he could. arms, legs, thigh, stomach. his body ached but he deserved it. maybe now Tyler can be happy. maybe he could too. he grabbed a bottle of his anxiety pills, it was half way full. he opened it and swallowed as many as he could. he down every pill. he started to feel nauseous and dizzy. he closed his eyes did one more slice. until something was buzzing he couldn't quite understand what it was but moved to his pants on the floor a got his phone out. he couldn't read the caller I.D, feeling too weak to even move. he answer it. it was a very worried Tyler trying to see where he was. Josh couldn't hold open his eyes any longer so he let them fall.

"Josh where are you i was worried sick about you" Tyler says frantically 

 

Josh tried to say something that made sense but everything was slurred

 

"bathroom 'partment" Joshua slurred

 

''J-Josh are you o-okay? i-i'm coming over okay?" Tyler said as he ran as fast as he could to Josh's apartment. tears welling in his eyes, this hadn't happen in so long because Josh promised to never do this again.

 

"Ty there's no point. it's too late to save me. i've been lost for so long. it's too late."

 

Tyler's heartbeat got faster a since of dread washing over him as he made it to the building, this can't be happening. 

 

"Josh! it's not too late just stay on the line okay?" 

 

"I love you Ty...you are my entire world and you never cease to impress me. thank you so much"

 

The line went dead afterwords.

 

No. No. NO. Tyler thought as he rushed into the building heading straight for Josh's room, he ran into the bathroom to see Josh barely breathing and his eyes closed. Tyler drops everything and rushes to his best friend. his Joshua. the love of his life, his entire existence. almost dead and so pale. Tyler rushes over and gets in with Josh and holds him.

"Josh. Josh please god! you gotta stay awake josh please josh" Tyler begs and plead.

"Josh i love you too, god i love you so much that's why you gotta stay alive for me" Tyler sniffles and strokes his hair as he sang to him 

he's cold. Tyler tries to warm him up. he fails. he holds him closer and screams until he can't anymore. he calls the police. there is nothing they can do. Josh is Dead. 


	2. Tyler.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh wrong. Tyler did love him, he loved him like he would his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just something i did on an impulse

Josh was wrong. Tyler did love him. in every way, Tyler loved him. but he never told him, he thought Josh would think he was weird and end their friendship. so he stayed quiet, pushed all those feelings deep inside him. Those feelings had found little cracks in the wall, they were about to get out. Tyler thought maybe if he had a girlfriend he'd be okay, maybe if he didn't have feelings for a male, let alone his best friend. He found Jenna, she was stunning, her big blue eyes, her beautiful blonde hair and tanned skin. She was so beautiful. But she wasn't Josh. Tyler had decided that she holds the cure. this will help with his love for Josh. they had talked for a while now, but Tyler wasn't feeling it. Jenna took up most of his time, talking about her day, talking about Stacy and Amanda and all her other friends, she talked about nothing interesting. She couldn't hold conversations with Tyler, well she could, but not Josh could. They could talk for hours upon hours talking about a slice of cheese and it'd still be a better topic than any topic that Jenna would talk about. Tyler was in deep. he knew it too.

ever since Tyler started to date Jenna, Josh hadn't held a conversation for 2 minutes. he didn't smile as much as before. when the tour was on break and they went home, Tyler asked Josh to come to Ohio with him, he agreed because he had an apartment there hat he'd stay in. Tyler was relieved when he agreed, but only for a few days. he was slightly disappointed but happy. everything was going okay for them until Jenna call and said she was gonna come visit Tyler. Tyler told Josh. Josh said he understood and he went to his apartment. Jenna said she wanted to get married. Tyler proposed. they were gonna announce at the 'welcome back!' party they were throwing for him and Josh. the time came, Josh's family was there, Tyler's family. Jenna's parents (Tyler invited them. Jenna's idea). everyone was there. they finally announced it. it was all congratulations from 5 of the Duns, hugs from the Blacks, and all the above from his family. everyone was there. except, it wasn't. someone was missing. that someone was his best friend/secret love of his life. Where was he? was he not happy for Tyler? Who was he kidding, Tyler wasn't even happy for Tyler. He looked in every room, backyard and front yard. Josh wasn't anywhere to be found. Tyler excused himself from the party to look around for Josh. He looked around most places his best friend would go. he wasn't there. Tyler looked for a good hour and a half. he figured Josh went home, so he made his way there. he called Josh but he didn't pick up, he tried a few more times. he was starting to worry because anytime Tyler called Josh, and he means  _any time,_ Josh always answer. Whether he was mad or sad or just feeling bad, he'd still answer Tyler's calls. He was about 5 minutes and already had 20-25 unanswered calls. he calls one more time, praying to God that Josh would answer, they were answered. Josh picked up the phone and started slurring his words, was he drunk? No, Josh doesn't care for alcohol.

"Josh where are you i was worried sick about you" Tyler said as he walked a bit faster to Josh's apartment

 

"bathroom 'partment" Josh mumbled 

 

"J-Josh are you o-okay? i-i'm coming over okay?" Tyler said as he ran as fast as possible.

 

"Ty there's no point. it's too late to save me. i've been lost for so long. it's too late..."

 

You could hear Tyler's heartbeat from a mile away. he neared the building and headed for the stairs, the elevator was too slow.

 

"Josh! it's not too late just stay on the line okay?" Tyler said as he made his way to the fourth floor. Josh is on the fifth.

 

"I love you Ty...you are my entire world and you never cease to impress me. thank you so much. i am so sorry" the line went dead

those are the words Tyler always wanted to hear, he started crying. tears flowing uncontrollably. he reached Josh's room and ran straight to the bathroom. He saw his best friend, half alive. he was so pale. Tyler climbed in and sang to him. He called the police. he held onto Josh like he was his lifeline 

"Josh. Josh please god! you gotta stay awake josh please josh" Tyler pleaded

"Josh i love you too, god i love you so much that's why you gotta stay alive for me" Tyler sniffles and strokes Josh's hair. But Josh doesn't hear it. Josh is Dead.

 

That happened 6 months ago. the Duns had a beautiful funeral. it was kinda like Helena by My Chemical Romance. Josh would never want you to be sad for him when he died, he wanted a celebrations for when he was alive. That was one of Josh's favorite music video along with 'The Ghost Of You'. said some things. a lot of people cried, Mama Dun couldn't take it. she had to be escorted out by her husband until she calmed down. Ashley was trying to hold back tears while she was comforting her little siblings, Abby was only 15 and Jordan was 11. they were so young, they shouldn't be at their big brother's funeral, they should be in the family room watching movies and playing games with him. not mourning his death. a lot of people went, since they were a big band and had other band friends, Brendon and Dallon went. So did Patrick and his band members. also the MCR band members. each of them preformed one of Josh's favorite songs. Mama Dun came back and asked Tyler to sing something, and of course he did. he sang the song he had sang to Josh before he died. it was one of Josh's top 5.

"You say things with your mouth  
Cobwebs and flies come out  
I hear a second voice behind your tongue somehow  
Luckily I can read your mind  
Flies and cobwebs unwind  
They will not take you down  
They will not cast you out, out."

"Won't you stay alive  
I'll take you on a ride  
I will make you believe you are lovely."

 

Tyler remembered like it was yesterday. He didn't marry Jenna, He didn't sing or play the piano anymore. He felt guilty. It was his fault that Josh wasn't here. Josh was gone, never coming back. He had night terrors, seemingly innocent, they'd be on stage playing songs for thousands of people until Josh stopped drumming and the crowd stopped cheering and every eye in the room was on him and pointing towards Tyler, everyone was screaming "IT'S YOUR FAULT" over and over, he look over at Josh and He was looking at Tyler blankly then he made cutting motions with his drum stick and his wrist started bleeding, he started crying but they weren't tears, it was blood. Josh mouthed 'You did this' and started cutting his wrist even more. he screamed 'YOU DID THIS, TYLER' repeatedly until everyone stood still. it was so silent you could hear a pin drop. Josh made one more cut and dropped like Tyler did in House Of Gold. everyone screamed loudly and attacked Tyler until he woke up screaming and fighting. for the rest of the day Tyler stayed in bed, he had no reason to eat, no reason to move, his only reason to do those things were buried six feet under. Tyler couldn't take it anymore. he texted his family an 'i love you and i'm sorry' and got a rope from his basement, tied it into a noose and sang for the first time in six months, he sang the first half of Goner and wrote down only seven words. he ties the noose around his neck and takes a step of his chair. 

 

'i'm a goner, somebody catch my breath'

 

End..

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.


End file.
